Disclaimer: The sarcastically insulting views of The Scout are not necessarily the views of the writer or the Wolfpack. If you think any of this is aimed at you….it probably is. I’m kinda’ creating an environment where I’m a friend first, an FPL colleague second….probably an entertainer third.
I initially considered this article having no words in it whatsoever. Just a GIF to sum up the FPL Community over the course of the close season.
As much as I enjoyed the camaraderie of the FPL Community during Fantasy Champ Man, some of it has been pretty embarrassing since. Can’t we just…have some fun? Oh well, lets try and get back to it. Chances are if I take the piss out of you in this, I quite like you.
Having said that, if Brickie pops up in one more group chat to remind me that Luton beat Barnsley at the weekend, I might lose my shit. Good job Nathan Jones will fuck off at the first sight of an opportunity and they won’t win a game for 5 months. Anyway…
PS: Why pick fights with lovely people like Nymfria and Partridge when there are man buns like Luke Ayling’s out there? At least start on him and then move on…
‘YOU LUCKY BASTA….’
Watching the last ODI between England and Australia as I write this and Mitchell Starc just took two wickets with the first 2 balls of the innings. Lucky bastard. How dare he do what he’s supposed to do and has done throughout his career and take wickets?
Owning Salah and Vardy this week wasn’t lucky. People know they are on penalties. People know thats a possibility. I’ve seen people complain about people who picked Vardy who also picked Sam Johnstone because he was a ‘penalty saving merchant’? That turned out well….
….and no, I don’t give a shit what their xG was, non-penalty or otherwise.
‘Save This Tweet’
Quick show of hands. Has anyone actually ever ‘saved this tweet’ when someone has said it? I haven’t – though I did note FPL Lew tipping Leeds to score at least 2 on the opening day vs Liverpool.
For every Leeds fan that gets one right, there’s FPL Tactician promising that Mo Salah wouldn’t get a haul against them either. I understand the ‘save this tweet phenomenon’ about as much as Jose Mourinho understands the word ‘press’.
The FPL ID talk has died down since my last article – I’ve given up on ending the circle-jerk of milestone tweets and begging people to follow people to get them to a certain irrelevant follower count – so that makes it 1-1. Lets see if we can net a late winner and kill off the save this tweet hysteria. Like the tweet and forget you ever read it, or ignore the tweet completely.
‘Stick To The Plan’
If you were driving your car using a sat nav, and you realised that the route that you had chosen to follow was going to lead to you driving into a sinkhole, would you just shrug your shoulders and say ‘well…that was the plan?’
Evidently, some people would. Plans are always subject to change. I’m not sure anybody really cares if you’ve changed your plan anyway.
Of course, the alternative is to just change your plan every couple of hours and then say that you are sticking to the plan. I’ve seen one person tweet out saying they are rolling the transfer in the morning and then confirming that they’ve made transfer(s) in the afternoon. Be consistently inconsistent. Do what you want to do. Frankly, as long as you don’t write ‘save this tweet’ at the end? It’s fine with me.
‘The Wonderful World of FPLWILSON’
Who doesn’t love FPLWILSON. If you don’t follow, you’re all have seen him. No man can reply to more tweets than him. In the last article, I highlighted his obsession over his ID.
He’s removed it from his bio. That’s the power I have. Don’t worry, I remember that it’s 23. But I thought it was worth giving you a brief run down on his recent activity.
1. Jordan Ayew is the best GW2 captain. (We know you’re joking…right?)
2. Educated Planet FPL’s Wolves Correspondent….on Wolves rotation.
3. Continues to be a Crystal Derby Palace County fan.
Oh, and signed off with this.
Oooo, err indeed. Check back next time for more on Jack’s antics.
‘Tweets that can’t be explained…’
4 goals conceded. No attacking returns. Awful man bun. A flaccid, misfiring Koch at centre back. Yeah…..I don’t get it.
Maybe a slightly worse take than BadFPL and Moise Kean being a better pick than DCL.
OK, maybe not.
Until next time, save thi… only kidding. I don’t care if you read or not. But BadFPL does. Particularly if you are in random countries so he can track the website hits.